Father of the Bride One Liners

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

There are only two times in a man's life when he can't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.

Confucius say, "Man who sinks into woman's arms;---Soon has his arms in woman's sink".---

Here's to our wives and lovers. May they never meet.

Scottish Proverb: Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.

The most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget once.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

A husband and wife are getting cosy in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, " I don' t feel like it. I just want you to hold me." The husband asks why. She explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept. store. They walk around and she tries on three very expensive outfits. He then tells his wife "We'll take all three of them". They then get matching shoes, a set of diamond earrings and a diamond bracelet. The wife is so excited (she thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not care) and goes to the pay desk. Her husband says, " No - no - no, honey we ' re not going to buy all this stuff.". His wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to hold this stuff for a while. " Her face gets really red and she is about to explode and then the husband says "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!

Marriage is like wine - It gets better with age.

A toast to sweethearts - May all sweethearts become married couples, and may all married couples remain sweethearts.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.

Marriage is like life in this - that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses.

Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.